November 14th

From Wisdom for Today:

It sure was a crazy ride I was on. The roller coaster of addiction took me up and threw me down. It spun me in circles and flipped me upside down. What made the ride crazy rather than exciting was the fact that I just couldn’t get off the ride. It just kept going around and around. It became a hell on earth for me. I am not talking about all the bad things that happened or problems that occurred, but I am talking about the separation from God. While I was on this roller coaster, I never thought about my relationship with a Higher Power. Sure, like all addicts and alcoholics, I prayed, “God, if you get me out of this one, I will never do it again.” But I really was not interested in what God’s will for me was.

The reality was I couldn’t get off the roller coaster, and only God could get me off the insane ride. I truly consider myself one of the fortunate ones. The AA Big Book says, “There are such unfortunates. They seem to be born that way. But they, too, can get clean and sober, if they have the capacity to be honest.” Everything changed for me when I admitted I couldn’t get off the roller coaster. Nothing I did would make it stop. Only when I surrendered to a Power Greater than myself did the insanity stop. Do I realize honestly that I am fortunate to be off the roller coaster of addiction?

Meditations for the Heart:

There is an old prayer that begins, “Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.” In the program it is important for us to realize that we are simply instruments. In spiritual matters it is important for us to be the best instrument we can be. In my addiction, I kept trying to be the conductor leading the orchestra. The music I was making was awful. In recovery I need to be open to God’s plan for me. I need to let Him choose the musical score, and I need to let Him choose how and when I will be played. As I go to meetings, I have seen hundreds and hundreds of alcoholics and addicts making wonderful music together. It is not my job to play every note, just to play my part. Do I work to be an instrument of my Higher Power’s will for me?

Petitions to my Higher Power:

God,

It all begins with honesty and willingness and openness. You have taught me over and over again that the only way I can make beautiful music is to become willing to let You direct and lead the orchestra. Help me to be a good instrument today.

Amen.