January 4th

From Wisdom for Today:

There are days, and then there are days. This was a tough lesson to learn in early recovery. I would go for days and even weeks where life seemed to be heading in a good direction, then WHAM! – a bad day would hit me in the face. Sometimes it would be cravings or urges to drink or use that seemed to come out of nowhere. Other times it would be because I got into a fight with my spouse. Sometimes grief would just seem to creep into my day and slowly surround me. It really didn't matter what the reason was; I was suddenly in the middle of a struggle.
It was during these times that my character defects would like to come out and play. It was like trouble invited more trouble to the party. It was hard not to get back into my old behavior and use my old, unhealthy coping skills. This is when I would remember the words my sponsor gave to me, "Remember to breathe." He was referring to his conversations with me about only paying attention to things that could affect my breathing, in other words, things that could kill me. I knew that going back to my old ways of thinking, feeling and behaving would lead me back to using. I knew this could affect my breathing. So on bad days I would remember to breath and go back to the basics of recovery. Believe me it was not perfect, but I am still breathing today. Do I know what to do when I am having a bad day?

Meditations for the Heart:

Going back to the basics for me means using the slogans, prayer, meetings, phone calls and anything that works. On bad days I get knocked off center, so I go to a pace that can help me get centered again. I close my eyes and take several deep breaths. I calm down and quietly go through the steps one at a time. I use what I need to use – admitting powerlessness and unmanageability, believing that God can restore sanity, turning it over, whatever it takes. I ask for help, and I reach out to others. I have seen this process work for me again and again. It doesn't change what is going on in my life, but it changes how I am looking at it. It changes me. So, I remember to breathe. What will I do to get myself back on track when I need to?

Petitions to my Higher Power:

God,

I have come to realize that not every day is meant to be filled with sunshine. Help me to weather the storms in my life and use the tools that work. Sometimes when I grow fearful, it is like I stop breathing. Help me always to remember to breathe in Your Spirit and seek Your strength. Guide me this day, and lead me to the people I need in my life.

Amen.