January 5th

From Wisdom for Today:

“We will not regret the past, nor will we shut the door on it.” This is the new freedom that Step Five provides. Completing Step Five allows you to stop regretting the past and at the same time still be able to look at it without disgust. This is not to say that I don’t wish that many things I did while drinking and using drugs could have been avoided. But I can’t undo the past; I can only work to repair the damage. I can only work to pay my recovery insurance premiums so that I do not relapse. Each time I attend a meeting and each time I spend in quiet meditation or prayer, I am making a payment on my insurance – a policy I do not want to let lapse.

The founders of the program did two things that were absolutely brilliant, some say divinely inspired. First they wrote down the steps of recovery that they found worked. The next inspired thing they did was to number these steps. This shows me that once I have taken a good look at myself and shared this openly in Step Five, if I am to change, the change must begin with me. And so this is where the repair work was to begin. I was to make myself ready to have God do His work on me. This was to be the first of many premium payments I would need to make to insure my recovery. Am I willing to make all the necessary recovery insurance payments?

Meditations for the Heart:

As I walked through the steps, I began to recognize that God was walking with me on this journey. In all my personal relationships, I began to see evidence of God working in my life to improve it. Over and over again I would see God guide and direct me. I was given opportunities for change. I was given strength, and I was given courage. I found myself doing things that I did not know I was capable of doing. Today I am convinced that each of the changes I have gone through on this journey have occurred only because God was leading me on this path. Seeing this evidence has only worked to strengthen my faith that my Higher Power is indeed caring for me. Do I believe that God is looking out for me and helping me along the way?

Petitions to my Higher Power:

God,

You have guided me this far, and I now trust that You will continue to lead me to a better way of living my life. You have enabled one change after another in my life and in who I am. Let me continue to follow Your direction for my life.

Amen.