January 11th

From Wisdom for Today:

There was no doubt that I could not stop drinking and using drugs on my own. The same was true with my defects of character. My personality flaws were resistant to change. Even when I realized and accepted that these defects were just as destructive to me as my drinking and using, I continued to think, behave and emotionally respond to life in ways that hurt those around me or myself. Even when I tried to change, I continued to come back to my old behavior. My big mistake was thinking that I could change these things on my own.

In Step Six it clearly stated that God was the one who was to remove these defects of character, yet I persisted in trying to do this on my own. I guess, that in my stubborn way, I had to learn again that I was powerless. As my attempts to change myself repeatedly failed, I began to see that I could not rid myself of these defects of character. I began to understand my need for God’s help. I began to talk with my Higher Power and admit that I was not perfect. In these prayers I began to see that God was my only hope. I began to stop asking for perfection and simply told God that I was ready to get better. Slowly over time, my defects of character have either disappeared or diminished to the point of no longer being destructive. What has surprised me is the fact that my personality strengths have grown. I have learned new ways to cope with life. I don’t have to follow the old rules anymore. Do I let the old rules continue to run my life?

Meditations for the Heart:

In becoming entirely ready to have God remove these defects, I was reborn of the Spirit. I do not mean that I was literally reborn, but I was given a new chance on how I lived my life. All those old rules that said I had to lie, cheat, be egotistical, fearful, etc. were challenged; and I began to see and live life differently. I began to know a new freedom and was shown new ways to cope with and behave differently in my life. I may never fully understand why I behaved the way that I once did, but I don’t have to. I can simply accept that this new way of living my life is better than the old way I lived. Making myself ready for change was not an easy or pleasant process, but accepting my own humanity and imperfection opened the door to a new life in and with the Spirit. Do I see the miracle of personality change that is possible in the Spirit?

Petitions to my Higher Power:

God,

Today I can thank You for making me uncomfortable with my old ways of thinking, behaving and emotionally responding to life. You have given me a new chance to live life with new rules. Through Your Spirit I have been given new options and a new attitude. I am grateful for the chance to be better.

Amen.