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 Little Bow Hunter

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alfee
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alfee


Posts : 174
Join date : 2010-10-14
Location : Middle TN - USA

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PostSubject: Little Bow Hunter   Little Bow Hunter Icon_minitimeThu Oct 20, 2011 5:08 pm


Little Bow Hunter


Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around on our farm sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1975 John Deere tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbitch.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the tip of my arrow and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starter fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Let's face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, Ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can, but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? “Hey, know what? Screw that, I'm going back in the house for the other can.”

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it, too.

”Now we're cookin'.”

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit my arrow. I drew the string to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck.…… OH SHIT! He just got home from work. So help me John Wayne, it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a weird look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex, and into the can.

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back, or just a reflex jerk from 230 freckin decibels of sound. I caught a half a second glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering above the ground as far as I could see!

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...THE FRECKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE...!!

There was a big sycamore tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That sonofabitch just got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Scooby Doo T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:

ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE... YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE!! DAMNIT, CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat was blown off 30 feet behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are broken, and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 200 4 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are melted down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom was giving me CPR and Dad screaming, "Bring Him back to life so I can kill him again." Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or maybe both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.




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sam923
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Posts : 2234
Join date : 2010-10-15

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PostSubject: Re: Little Bow Hunter   Little Bow Hunter Icon_minitimeFri Oct 21, 2011 8:50 am

LMAO!!!

THAT was funny!!!

Sam
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